Wilding on the Mall: Folks Are Slashing the Reflecting Pool and Writing in Blood
The government spent $14.8 million to repaint the pool, and people immediately pulled up with razor blades to rip it all up.
Yo, things are getting absolutely out of hand down at the National Mall. The Department of the Interior just dropped a warning saying there is a whole trend of people out here vandalizing the city’s historic spots, and the details are straight crazy. We are talking about people slicing up the newly painted Lincoln Memorial Reflecting Pool, carving giant numbers into the grass, and doing the absolute most over by the Washington Monument. The feds are on high alert, and honestly, nobody knows what is coming next.
Here is how this whole mess started: President Donald Trump ordered a massive $14.8 million restoration and repainting of the Reflecting Pool to give it a flashy new look. But the very day the pool reopened, protestors pulled up and decided to trash the place. They tore down the security fences, threw them straight into the water, and used razor blades to slash over 300 feet of the pool's brand-new liner. Just like that, millions of taxpayer dollars got sliced up in broad daylight.
The feds tried to keep the whole thing quiet at first. The first hit on the pool happened back on June 9, but the Department of the Interior did not say a word because they did not want copycats trying to get famous. Interior communication director Katie Martin said, "At the time of the June 9 incident, the vandalism was under investigation and believed to be isolated. So as not to encourage deranged individuals, we did not announce what we hoped to be an isolated incident." But keeping secrets did not work out, because within a few days, viral videos started circulating showing people ripping the coating off the pool, and the trend took off anyway.
And it is not just the pool getting hit. People are out here leaving a mystery code all over the place: "8647." Earlier this month, someone literally carved a giant "8647" right into the grass on the National Mall. The feds are taking this as a straight-up threat against the president. They explained that in the restaurant game, to "86" something means to get rid of it or refuse service, and the "47" is for Trump, the 47th president.
If you think the grass carving is wild, wait until you hear about what happened at the Washington Monument. According to a police report, some individual actually used their own blood to write "I've come" on the monument. On top of that, people have been cutting fuel lines over at the Great American State Fair. It is getting so crazy out here that the police locked up US Olympian David Hearn in a viral arrest, though he’s telling everyone he had nothing to do with the pool getting trashed.
Meanwhile, the media is acting a whole fool. Instead of talking about the fact that people are running around cutting fuel lines and writing in blood, CNN and ABC sent reporters to take water samples from the pool to complain about algae and peeling paint. Whoopi Goldberg even hopped on TV to mock the whole $14.8 million paint job, basically acting like the water being a little green makes the vandalism okay.
Of course, the folks on Fox News's "The Five" were not having it. They called out the mainstream media for trying to distract everyone with algae talk when people are literally committing federal crimes. They pointed out how crazy it is that reporters are focusing on paint peeling instead of the actual sabotage of a national monument. At the end of the day, the feds are still on high alert, and the city is left watching a $14.8 million project go down the drain while everyone argues over green water.
