Look, y'all think you know what’s going on on this planet, but the truth is we don’t know the half of it. Scientists just went out into the deep-ass ocean off the coast of Brazil and found 31 brand new species in only two weeks. That’s not a typo—two weeks. They were moving at record speeds, showing us that while we’re arguing on land, the deep sea is absolutely packed with wild creatures we’ve never even heard of. No cap, the ocean is a whole different world.

The squad behind this was an international link-up. Two dozen experts from the US, Australia, Brazil, and Japan hopped on this high-tech research ship called the Falkor (too). This wasn't some cheap boat either; it was run by the Schmidt Ocean Institute, with the University of Western Australia and a few other big schools backing them up. They set sail from Salvador, Bahia, ready to get to the bottom of things—literally.

Their main target was the "midwater." This is the zone between the bottom of the ocean and the sunlit top layer where all the regular fish hang out. Now, get this: this midwater area is actually the biggest habitat on the entire planet, taking up 90% of the living space on Earth. But because it’s pitch black and hard to get to, nobody ever goes down there. It's basically the most unexplored block on the map.

And when they finally pulled up, they found out the block was hot. The list of new species they dragged up is crazy. They found a new amphipod (a crustacean that’s cousin to crabs and lobsters), a super-fast "gossamer worm," nine different kinds of jellyfish, and seven siphonophores—which are these weird, colonial organisms that live together like one big family.

It gets even wilder. They found seven comb jellies that swim around using glowing hairs, and four larvaceans. These larvaceans are basically tadpole-looking things that build and live in houses made of their own mucus—yeah, snot houses. And somehow, science says these little guys are closer on the family tree to us humans than they are to spineless bugs. On top of that, they found two giant rhizarians, which are single-celled organisms so massive you can see them without a microscope.

So how did they identify all these creatures so fast without getting bogged down in paperwork? They had a secret weapon onboard called "The Squid." No, not a real squid, but a crazy spinning wheel confocal microscope that uses high-tech lasers to scan the microscopic details of these creatures in 3D while they’re still alive.

Dr. Karen Osborn, the chief scientist from the Smithsonian National Museum of Natural History, was hyping it up. She said they could literally see cells interacting and building skeletons live on the ship. Usually, when scientists find a new bug or fish, they have to stain it, mount it on slides, and wait weeks just to get a good look. But with the Squid, they were doing it in real-time, skipping the long lines and the waiting game.