So here’s the real talk on the latest political mess down in Victoria. Moira Deeming tried to put a case on her fellow Liberal MP Matthew Guy, claiming he assaulted her at some Macedonian community gig in Sunshine West back on May 23. But late Thursday night, the police came out and put an end to all the chatter, officially declaring there was "no offence detected" and closing up the book.

Now, let's keep it a hundred about the timeline here because it's looking real shaky. This whole alleged incident went down in late May, but Deeming didn't even bother telling the police until June 16. That’s nearly a whole month of sitting on a story before calling up the precinct. On top of that, the police report straight up says she didn't need any medical attention. If you're out here trying to get the law involved weeks after the fact with no marks and no medical bills, people are gonna look at you sideways.

They even had CCTV footage of the whole interaction, which got shared around like a viral clip. Between the 26 seconds of tape and a real awkward selfie Guy posted on his Facebook page showing them at the event together, the cops had everything they needed to see what really went down. And after looking at the evidence, the detectives basically said there was nothing to charge him with.

As soon as the cops cleared his name, Matthew Guy wasn’t trying to play nice. He came out swinging, calling Deeming's claims "ridiculous and unsubstantiated." Word on the street is he’s already talking to his lawyers about a defamation lawsuit to get his respect back. You can't just throw dirt on someone's name in public and expect them to just walk away, especially when you're both working in the same house.

Meanwhile, the big boss of the opposition, Jess Wilson, was playing it real safe. She kept her mouth shut the whole time the cops were investigating, dropping some standard PR lines about "due process" and the "presumption of innocence." She’s trying to keep her team focused on the big election coming up in November, but it’s hard to look like a serious crew when your members are calling the cops on each other over community hall drama.

Wilson is heading up to Mildura next to try and change the subject, but everybody knows this internal beef is far from over. No matter how much they try to paint over the cracks, this whole situation shows that the political game is just as messy and full of snakes as any block in the city.

Sources: * Victoria Police Media Unit (police.vic.gov.au) * Parliament of Victoria Member Guide (parliament.vic.gov.au) * Victorian Electoral Commission (vec.vic.gov.au)